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Monday, July 10, 2006

Dead John.


Ok, been lazy to blog. Really. So many frustration. School Work + Ministry + My own spiritual life.

I can't lie. My spiritual life isn't doing all that great this few months. I thought church camp would have given me the must needed boost to get my engine running. Once again, i died on me again. Somewhat, i thought it would be just easy that i could vanish into thin air. Then i think of the friends i would dissapoint. The amount of hurt i would cost them if i were to be irresponsible. The friendship that had been bulit will just vanish too.

Ministries had been frustrating. Tons of question to be cleared. Somehow i can't find an answer cause i couldn't ask. I'm a collusive person. I don't want to be part of any argument or whatsoever. I just want peace even though, i am still frustrated. Moreover. If myself is not really on fire. How can i "question" the ministries. Somehow the weight of everything falls on me.

Come to school. The lecturers ain't much help either. Two replies that made me so pissed. "You have to be more resourceful in finding materials" , "Money is not an issue, you have to be more resourceful".
When i had to spent 30 dollars to do a mock up and i had to do 5 of them. Which would cost me a wooping 150 to finish my mock up. And wait, here's the deal. Each model would be A1 size when all my friends only need to do A4. And the mock up is not my final piece. So tired of school.

Really i don't know what to do.

God help me, as i pray.


i★courtdeath 12:06 AM


jon★courtdeath




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