This week was my official school holidays. 4 freaking months, i know, don't get jealous. Tried to pass time by playing game. Which made me sick the core. Hope i get the job at gammaphone.
Days were shitty. Complicated, emotional, confusion, drained, stabbed, dead, beaten and damned.
I can say everythings fine. But whatever thats fine, will come back like a rebellious soul, haunting me down, which can't wait to see me fall. Which want to see me broken, numbed, souless, hated, raged and trashed.
You know, it's so hard to be Mr. 7-11/Superman. Where you are there for everybody. Listen, talk, advice and all that kind of shit. And then you realise, the crap you input into yourself makes you full of crap, think like a crap and feel like crap.
I don't want to live in denial and pretend that everyones okie. Everyone have their own mask they take off and put on everyday. The mask that becomes part and parcel of your life. Well, people can say they had been hurt by so many and millions of people. But they, themselves did hurt someone before too.
You feel hurt because whoever that hurt you is someone you cherish and hold in mind. If not you would care a shit about it,
People that hurt you unknowingly is the worst. Cause they creep up to your soul, slowly and steadily. Just when you realise it's presences. It's too late. It had already grabbed you. Right at your heart, soul and mind.
You could slit my throat.
I apologise for bleeding on your shirt.
I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck.
Tell your friends of the gun you point at my head.